Article written for Volume 2, Issue 9 of ‘Luminous Wisdom: Sophia’ (a Sibella Publications magazine).
I love being in my 50’s. Contemplating my life experiences, I clearly see the crossroads, the challenges and opportunities for growth that landed in my path. I like myself more these days with the passing of time and gaining of wisdom. I own my joys with uncomplicated freedom because they stand out from the crowd of normal life complexity. It has been quite a ride! For as long as I can remember, I have wondered about The Meaning of Life! There are times when I see myself as a nutty Brian in a life of misadventure while trying to figure out why we all do what we do. There is an oddness in happily accepting all other oddness. Yet it feels right and loving. I had struggled with the concepts of fitting neatly into society’s boxes.
Later in life, I would be grateful for growing up in a military family of constant change along with guidance from my gentle mother, a teacher, bringing out the best of me in both survival and compassion. As it turned out, I would need both. A decision to become a nurse made at seven years with a deep knowing, heralded my healer’s career with volunteering in hospitals at 14. This led to old school Nurse training providing me with my own Dragon-Matron and a rock solid sense of duty. Additionally, life traumas surrounded me on every level every day. What a grand platform for learning about life. My career warmed me and besieged me all at once.
For me there is a reason for everything and study suggests we plan our own life journey with inbuilt crossroads. Those very moments in my Blueprint arrived with a load of loss and trauma for me to taste test. With the deaths of several close family members at once, my scramble began. My moment of greatest adversity arrived with the sudden and additional death of my teenage son. I was catapulted into choosing the way that I was to deal with this trauma.
Amazingly, my son Kieran had informed us at six years old that he would not see his adult years. HE KNEW! He asked me specifically not to cry for him when he left. How did he know that? I started my study right there outside of society’s boxes. I began a path of investigating spirituality.
When I struggle to bring things together in my head, I choose to go back to basics. I seek Native American Indian ways because of its simplicity but any indigenous culture will share the basics. Thank Mother Earth for provision and Father Sky for connection. Respect all life forms and seek gratitude. I take each life problem and fit it into this basic form to make my decisions. Sitting within this space opened untapped intuitive skills. I studied hard and learnt to improve my compassion along with my intuitive understanding. I committed to learning about a loving Universe and its secrets, uncovering a peacefulness in myself.
As my connection to a Supportive Universe increased, Kieran guided me. I began to see purpose in every experience. Travelling, studying the cosmos with indigenous cultures and learning shamanism helped me create a healing business. I facilitate, write and share what Spirit tell me. I am grateful for my life events which directed my lessons. I no longer have expectations of the world. We are in the process of Cosmic Evolution because we long for compassion. Therefore the Universe will provide it. Love is the precursor for all healing and gratitude creates humility. This is where magic happens. Happy Valentine’s to you.