Fears, Felines and Fabrications
A rescue cat has made her way into our home this month. A fluffy tortoiseshell pudding with short dumpy legs stretching, has reached out and grabbed our hearts. This elderly girl has been looking for her forever home and has nearly, and I emphasis nearly, found her total contentment.
Except for one vital issue. There is already a well-loved black male cat in residence. This has
created problems. I have observed this weird and protracted dance cats do when confronted with each other and hoped that over time, the two of these cats in their later years would find their way into an agreeable arrangement. With the warnings of the vet ringing in my ears, I understood that this was an unlikely outcome.
We began a three week journey of intrigue and confusion for all as it became obvious that the two cats were making effort but somehow, never at the same time! Feelings were hurt, revenge was sweet, warnings hissed and wariness prevailed. Somewhere along this tumultuous feline path I began to comprehend that the similar patterns of humankind were playing out right in front of me. Ownership of space, toys, beds, food and even friends is coveted and not to be shared under any circumstances. Boundaries are tight but unmatched with each other. Retaliations are swift and heavy. Why is it so difficult for us all to share our energy with another? How can it be so easy to spit wail at another without thought in such persistent righteousness? Jealousy is powerful.
We all find change challenging and from previous experience, something to be feared. Many of us initially want to give to another, then discover sharing is difficult. The offering was actually to appease ourselves. It is a complicated conundrum we can find ourselves in especially when others, human or otherwise, get hurt by the actions and misunderstandings of another. Are we fabricating fears to get our own way? The key ingredient in our rather narrow perception is expectation. We expect to get hurt if we take a risk. Sadly, others do take our generosity too far and our trust is broken.
Fear is very much about the breaking of trust in all sorts of formats because we expect so from only one perspective. Our own. However, everyone is unique and has had differing experiences within their lifetime. It is unhelpful to think that our way is the only way. If we continue to expect a certain way to be the right way, then we will never be content because we will always feel that trust and faith are unobtainable. Fortunately, we do have a myriad of choices involving compassion. Our hearts close when we expect things to be the way we want them and there is no room for anyone else. Let’s try to accept the perception of others instead. Open our minds and hearts to more than one truth, making room for each other.
How am I going to tell this to the cats?